Shaenon K. Garrity (shaenon) wrote,
Shaenon K. Garrity

Dear Mormons:

What the hell is your problem?

I'm not speaking to all Mormons here. Just the ones who have been sending millions to support Proposition 8, California's anti-gay-marriage amendment. Especially those of you who don't even live in California, which is most of you. I'm also speaking to the church leaders who have been playing chicken with their tax-exempt status to encourage this wave of hate money, urging folks from the pulpit to finance a political battle in, again, another friggin' state. What the hell?

Same goes for everyone else supporting Prop 8. Thanks to the $25 million the Yes on 8 campaign has raised from haters nationwide, I've had to watch the creepy-ass Yes on 8 commercial approximately once every fifteen minutes every time I turn on the TV. Because there is no sound reason to oppose gay marriage, especially in a state that's now had it, off and on, for five years, the Yes on 8 ad relies on the standard fallback position of bigots throughout American history: won't somebody think of the children? The message of the ad: If gay marriage is legalized, your children will find out that there are gay people! And then you'll have to sit down and tell them why it's important to hate them! Which will be hard!

Guess what, dumbasses of California? Whether or not gay people have the right to marriage, your children will find out that they exist. I know, I know, it totally seems worth stripping basic human rights from a minority group to which you don't belong if it means you don't have to have a five-minute conversation with your children. But it's a lie. You're going to have that conversation anyway. And your vote on Prop 8 will not, repeat NOT, have any effect on whether your adorable ponytailed daughter grows up gay.

I was married in San Francisco's Mission Dolores on the same day the first gay couples got married up in City Hall. I cannot imagine going through the past five years unsure of whether my husband and I were legally married. It's a terrible thing to make a couple go through. It baffles me that other married people, people who are serious about marriage as a sacred trust, can even consider voting to tear happily married couples apart.

One more thing: the anti-Prop 8 people are fighting the good fight, but they need better advertising. So far I've seen two "No on Prop 8" ads: a factually correct but bland spot pointing out that the Yes on 8 spots are full of baldfaced lies, and an ad that boils down to, "Yes, the gays are icky, but we shouldn't discriminate against them, maybe." Surely we can do better than that. Can't some movie star from liberal Hollywood volunteer to speak up? Think of what you could do with, say, Tom Hanks:

TOM HANKS: Hi, it's me, Tom Hanks. Remember when I died in "Philadelphia"? That was really sad, huh? Well, I died because of Proposition 8. Also when I died in "Saving Private Ryan." That was Prop 8's fault too. In fact, every vote against marriage equality is a vote for the death of a lovable character played by me, Tommy Hanks. If Prop 8 passes, I can guarantee you that Woody will die in "Toy Story 3." Try explaining
that one to your kids, assholes.

This would totally work.
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