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Shaenon K. Garrity
This is where I write stuff.
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27th-Mar-2010 06:18 pm - Me and Nathan Stubblefield
Some months ago, my ladyfriends and I had an idea. An idea so brilliant we immediately knew someone else would steal it before we could sober up and share it with the world. Nonetheless, I wrote it down and dated it, if only so that when someone else was making millions off our brainstorm we could look back in bitter vindication and know we were there first.

Two months later, Jennifer Love Hewitt went on "The George Lopez Show," and history was made. I like to think we'll come up with another idea of that caliber, but I know how seldom lightning strikes twice.

After seeing Teeth:

Andrew: Thanks for never biting me with your vagina dentata.
Me: Oh, Andy. If I had teeth down there, I'd never use them on you.
Andrew: You might. You can get pretty peeved during sex.
Me: That's true. I get worked up.
Andrew: I'd go to the doctor, and he'd be, like, "What did I tell you last time? She doesn't like it when you do that!"
Me: Wait. Are you picturing this happening multiple times? I'd bite your penis off with my vagina, you'd get it stitched back on and come back for more?
Andrew: I assume so.
Me: That might be the most romantic thing you've ever said to me.
Andrew: Well, I don't want to be a quitter.
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