Shaenon K. Garrity's Journal

Morals of the Little Golden Books
The Tawny Scrawny Lion: Vegetarian diets are fattening.
Scuffy the Tugboat: You may think you're destined for bigger and better things, but you're so wrong, loser.
Tootle: Trains are totally easy to trick. (This is also the moral of many episodes of "Thomas the Tank Engine.")
The Poky Little Puppy: That weird Asperger-y kid may seem like a harmless nuisance, but watch out, because he's probably plotting to steal your chocolate custard.
(Additional bonus moral: If you're going to write the bestselling children's book of all time, hold out for better than a $75 flat fee.)
The Saggy Baggy Elephant: Don't listen to asshole parrots.
The Shy Little Kitten: Cats eat carrots.