Dear Newsweek Editors,

Over the past weeks, I've watched in dismay as the debate over the Affordable Care Act turned into an attack on women's health, right-wing pundits railed against birth control, politicians defended draconian anti-abortion laws by comparing pregnant women to breeding livestock, Republicans united to block the Violence Against Women Act, the governor of Wisconsin repealed equal pay for women in his state, and yet another ugly, divisive war over working vs. stay-at-home mothers erupted in op-ed pages nationwide.

So I'm sure you can imagine how thrilled I was to discover that, this week, Newsweek has chosen to devote its cover to the most pressing issue in the lives of American women today: business ladies who like BDSM. Tomorrow, when I'm fighting sexism in my industry and searching for a health care plan that covers maternity costs, I'll head into the breach armed with the memory of beloved date-rape apologist Katie Roiphe telling women they secretly hate having jobs, rights and respect, and fantasizing that a good spanking would make those headstrong feminists give up on that silly "equality" business.

And look! There's also an article on how the Duchess of Cambridge is enjoying her first year of princesshood!

Thanks for keeping me informed,
Shaenon K. Garrity

P.S. In all seriousness, pull this crap again and I'll cancel my subscription.